Times are hard. The economy is uncertain. It’s come to our attention that people want security. Especially those in charge of advertising and marketing budgets. Minimizing the perception of risk seems to have become an essential job function for most major marketing departments. We want to make it easier. That’s why we are offering the first (that we know of) advertising campaign insurance against campaign failure.

Here’s how it works: Create your advertising campaign as you would normally. Think of your target audience, your media buys, your search budget – whatever parameters you can dream. Really, the sky’s the limit. Too risky of a campaign? Don’t worry, it’s insurable. We guarantee it.

Once you’ve got the budget, contact WrightIMC – whether we planned the campaign or not. That’s right – we insure all advertising campaigns whether or not we planned it!

If you pay your premium and your campaign fails, we’ll give you back the ENTIRE COST of your campaign. That ought to make your average risk-averse, ROI-hungry, decision-maker happy. Now you can stroll into your bosses office and confidently say, “Our advertising is insured against failure!”

Just give us the gross budget of the campaign, and we’ll provide you with the amount of the premium. Want to calculate the premium yourself? It’s simple. Here’s our formula:

Actual Gross Cost of the Entire campaign + 50% = Advertising Campaign Insurance Against Failure Premium.

I’m sure you have some questions, so I’ve create an arbitrary (based on no scientific evidence or actual questions) FAQ:

Q: Do I still have to pay for the cost of the campaign?
A: Yes. You have to pay all costs of the campaign. If it fails, for any reason, we’ll give you the money you paid for the campaign.

Q: Is any part of my premium refundable
A: No.

Q: How do you determine whether a campaign is successful or not?
A: You determine that. We don’t care.

Q: My boss is very risk averse. He/she wants to make sure we’ll get the money back if the campaign fails. How can I appease him/her?
A: Tell your boss if your company sends over the entire premium, we’ll put the gross amount paid for the campaign into an escrow account for which you pay the fees. Then, you can take that amount out whenever you fear failure. The 50% part of the premium is non-refundable.

Q: Does this type of “insurance” actually relieve my company of any risk?
A: No. This insurance is designed to lessen the “perception” of risk.

Q: Is WrightIMC an insurance company? Do you have any licenses of anything like that?
A: No. WrightIMC is not an insurance company, and this arrangement may not actually be legal. (We do guarantee a profit for ourselves, though.)

Q: Are you really offering this service?
A: Well, if your company is willing to do it – then absolutely! YES!

Q: Is this a joke?
A: Kind of. If you are really obtuse and don’t understand – well, let’s just say that we’ve recently encountered a bunch of companies that are paralyzed by their fear of risk – even in the most well-thought-out and researched plans. And, we’re tired of invented ROI numbers, with no basis in reality, being used to assure decision-makers that the plan will work. This insurance is as valuable as those made up justification numbers.